I biked home from the doctor's office in Japan where I had biked day after day, hoping to finally hear the words "you're pregnant!" I was smiling more than I had ever smiled before, and there was something new in me....not just a baby, but a whole new light and joy that could be felt in every cell of my body. I felt so special.
I had just received that news I had been waiting for forever...the doctor did an ultrasound and confirmed I was pregnant. It felt too good to be true, and I was on cloud 9. It was almost Christmas day, and I decided to wait and tell Kolby on Christmas morning.
The next few days, I thought about my baby 24/7. I felt like I had this amazing secret and couldn't wait to share it with the world. I googled everything I could about how to be as healthy as possible while pregnant.
Christmas morning, I wrapped up the ultrasound pictures with some cute onesies, and had Kolby open it last. He didn't seem to get it at first and just saw the baby clothes. When I excitedly pointed out the ultrasound, he said "You're pregnant?" When I answered yes, tears streamed down his face as we hugged and reveled in that moment that we had hoped and dreamed for for a very long time.
When we found out he was a boy 3 months later, we both pumped our fists in the air, because it was exactly what we had been hoping for. We talked endlessly throughout my pregnancy about what he would look like, what kind of personality he would have, how we would be as parents. Being pregnant with Kai was so special and so much fun, because it was the first time and everything was new and exciting and we were so anxious to meet this little boy we had created.
My pregnancy with him was a dream, and I had surprisingly never felt better or stronger in my entire life.
Finally, after what seemed like years, it came time to meet him. We were so excited we could hardly stand it. The whole giving birth in Japan thing was pretty crazy, and you can read Kai's birth story
here
Here was our first full glance at him, and of course it was love at first sight.
The next month was heaven. We were in heaven having this perfect little boy around. It felt like a dream we never wanted to wake up from.
Now that little newborn has graced us with his presence for one entire year, and we feel like the luckiest parents around.
Our baby is one! We have a one year old. Can I just say he's 12 months old? and then 13 months old? Saying it in terms of months seems so much less grown up.
How can time be so cruel? It feels like I didn't get enough time with my sweet baby boy. Now he's a toddler, almost walking and getting into everything and anything he shouldn't :) Today as Kolby and I sat on the couch talking and reminiscing, I told him that I want to re-live the last year over and over. I want to re-live the first time I heard his little cry and knew he was ok, the first time I kissed his sweet little forehead, the first time he smiled at me, the first time he opened his mouth to kiss me...it all seems like a blur of moments that were there and gone.
I even want to re-live the months I was pregnant.
I may or may not have cried a few times today...especially while looking at pictures of newborn Kai, and while holding him in my arms feeding him his bottle and gazing at him just like I've done everyday for the past 12 months. He's so perfect, and our lives with him have been a dream. I know it sounds gushy, but it's truly how I feel.
Kaiboy, thank you for making all of our dreams come true, and for making us happier than we ever imagined. We love you always and forever.
We're excited to take him to the zoo tomorrow, and have a party next Friday with family and friends.
Happy first Birthday Kai!