KAI'S BIRTH STORY IN TOKYO

Let’s start this story off the right way with a happy prego pic! I can’t believe my little Kaiguy was in there the whole time!

I’m giving you fair warning…there is probably too much complaining in this story. Forgive me. Please remember I gave birth in a foreign country with very different medical practices and a language I didn’t speak :) Also, I’m a nurse, so naturally I know everything about medical stuff, which made me even more critical.

So it all started when I chose August 20^th as my induction date. At a previous appointment the doctor told me Kai was getting big and she wanted to get him out of there before he got bigger in order to avoid lots of trauma when he makes his grand entrance, since I am so “petite.” August 22^nd was my official due date and I felt a little uncomfortable forcing him to come out, but decided it was probably the healthiest option for me and baby.

I spent the whole day before cleaning and organizing the house so everything would be perfect when we came home from the hospital. Kolby was sweet and subbed for me at work that night since I was worried about leaving the house (mostly because going anywhere in Japan requires walking, a bus ride, and then train ride). He got home late and was so tired because he worked his 9-5 job and then my job too, what a sweetheart. I tried my best to sleep well but it’s kinda hard when you know you are having a BABY the next day…! I was too excited.

The next morning finally came, and we were in a rush to get out the door. We had to run to the bus stop, ride the bus for 20 minutes to the train station, catch the right train, ride it for 7 minutes, change train lines, ride that train for 30 minutes, change trains again and ride that one for 2 minutes, then walk about 7 minutes to the hospital. Imagine us  trying to do this with all of my stuff, Kolby’s stuff (the hospital informed us he would need to stay the full week with me in the hospital), and baby gear! The hospital already informed us that we would be staying for 5 nights and that they pretty much only provided a gown, so we had to pack a lot (towels, washcloths, diapers, burp rags, our laptop, books to read etc) and had 4 big bags we were hauling around. Boy do I miss being in America where you just simply drive 10 minutes to the hospital! Stressful start to the day, but we still made it on time.

Here's me arriving at the hospital. It looks decent right? (Wrong!, as you will later find out).

They started me out with a non stress test for baby and I soaked up every minute listening to his heartbeat, letting it calm my nerves. There is truly no sweeter sound in the world. His little heartbeat gave me more joy than anything else, and made me that much more anxious to meet him.

After that I had my checkup to see how dilated I was. I arrived at the hospital with high hopes that I would be more dilated than before (because then they wouldn’t have to use a balloon to force me to open), but I was till at 1cm. No progress. Dang! The doctors still wanted to induce me, but I was suddenly having many second thoughts. What if he wasn’t ready to come? I felt like a horrible mother for forcing him out of there.

And then, to make matters worse, the lost in translation errors began. This hospital doesn’t speak English (none do in Japan, unless you want to pay over $10,000). My husband Kolby speaks fluent Japanese, but medical jargon is like a whole different language, so it was slightly difficult for him.  Also, the doctors and nurses never paused to let him translate for me. They would just talk for 5 minutes straight at a time and then start procedures. This was very difficult for me throughout my hospital stay because I never knew what the heck was going on. Kolby did his best to quickly explain things, and he did a great job, but it’s hard when the doctor says a million medical things and he has to hurry and summarize that to me in English.

Anyways, the nurse was very insistent that I sign this piece of paper, and Kolby said I needed to sign, so I did. After my pelvic exam, the one doctor who spoke a few words of English said “This paper you sign says you agree to get induction today.” Ummm what? I had no idea it said that, no one explained it to me. I kind of panicked and told her I wanted to talk to my husband first before deciding on induction for sure, but she didn’t understand me. At this point the whole giving birth in a foreign country thing really HIT me. I had tried to remain positive about it throughout my pregnancy, especially because Japan is not a third world country and seemed to have adequate medical care, but this language barrier thing was going to be tougher than I thought.

 I went back into the lobby in full panic mode to talk to Kolby about what just happened and he said he felt everything would be ok and that we should have the baby today. His confidence reassured me and we decided to go through with it. A nurse took us upstairs to do some paperwork, and it all started to hit me. I was crying and so nervous about making this baby come out and not going into labor naturally. For the second time, Kolby reassured me that everything was going to be fine.

The nurse then took us into the OR where I would get the epidural placed. I was a little freaked out because they didn’t draw labs on me or anything…umm shouldn’t you check someone’s platelets before you go sticking a needle in their spine? (I could get a deadly hematoma if my platelets are low…) The nurse said everything was fine and that they had already checked my labs a few months ago. A few months ago?!! People’s labs can change on a dime! Strike #1. This is the point where I really started to lose all trust and faith in the Japanese medical system. And oh was this just the beginning of bad medical practice. 

I was also extremely alarmed that they were just having me and Kolby walk around the OR and change my clothes in there. OR’s are supposed to be sterile…strike #2.  Next, the nurse came in to give me an enema. I have never had one of these before, though I gave them to patients numerous times as a nurse. Boy was that a treat…

Then they put a monitor on me to watch baby’s heartbeat and my contractions. His strong little heartbeat was the only thing keeping me calm and reassured. Even though this little boy was currently relying on me for survival in the womb, I felt like I was the one relying on him. I needed him to be ok.

 The nurse started the IV. It hurt way more than it should have, and continued to hurt the next 24 hours. I have had a million IVs placed (thanks nursing school!) and none have ever hurt. No offense Japan, but I think your nurses are not trained very well (this was evident numerous times throughout my stay).

The doctor came in to explain about the epidural placement. I had Kolby express my last minute concerns about getting induced early, but the doctor explained that since I had not dilated or softened for the past 2 weeks, I probably wasn’t going to change in the next 2 days before my due date, and in Japan they pretty much make you get induced on your due date because they believe the placenta stops providing enough nutrition. (In America doctors believe this happens between 41-42 weeks…). The fact that my due date was only 2 days away and I hadn’t progressed in over 2 weeks is what finally assuaged my fears about being induced. Alright, let’s do this!  

They had me lay on the table in the fetal position, which was difficult because I had a huge belly and couldn’t pull my legs up to my chest. Also, since I have rods and screws in 3 of my lumbar vertebrae (where they would normally place an epidural), they had to place it a little higher in a spot where it’s extremely difficult to bend your back. The doctor kept asking me to bend more but I just couldn’t. My chin was shoved against my chest and I couldn’t breathe. I have never been scared of needles, but I was pretty anxious at this point. She gave me the local anesthetic to numb the spot, and that already made me jump and hurt more than I expected. She kept saying I needed to hold more still and bend more. She tried to put the epidural in but apparently it wasn't working because I wasn’t bent enough. I could not bend anymore! I started to panic. She tried injecting the medicine and it made my leg spaz out. She said I NEEDED to hold still. I was trying my best, but I couldn’t breathe because of the way my chin was tucked and I was trying so hard to stay bent in this horribly awkward position. More needle pokes. More failed attempts. At this point I was deathly afraid that she would paralyze me on accident because she couldn’t get it in the right place. AHHH. Every time she tried to reinsert the needle it hurt so bad and I jumped. This continued for what felt like days to me, then finally it was done. She injected some numbing medicine to make sure it was in the right spot, and it worked. PHEW!! The doctor started me on some IV medicine to soften my cervix. And the induction begins…!

After that they inserted and inflated the balloon that would make my cervix dilate. I was nervous because she said it might hurt a little, but thankfully I was numbed up from the epidural and didn't feel anything.

 Next, something happened that ended up drastically slowing my recovery after birth. I vividly remember from my nursing school days that after a patient receives an epidural, they should lie flat for at least TWO HOURS, or else they could get a horrible spinal headache. I laid there for about 20 minutes, and then a nurse informed the doctor that someone else needed the OR room and I would have to be transported by wheelchair to another room. WHAT? I am not supposed to sit up! I panicked and expressed this concern to Kolby, but the doctors said they had no choice but to move me. Oh, and japan doesn’t have mobile beds that you can take on elevators. So yep, I had STAND UP, move to the wheelchair, and sit up on a long ride to another room, thus dooming myself to have the worst headache of my life in a few days. Strike #3 for japanese healthcare. (Sorry Japan, your healthcare isn’t the best quality but I still love you!)

They took us to a temporary room I would be staying in until I gave birth. (Definitely not the nice room they showed us on the hospital tour…). It was tiny, and poor Kolby would have to sleep in a chair. And they couldn’t provide him with a pillow or blanket or meals, even though they required him to be there 24/7 to translate for me. My pillow was the size of an airline pillow, filled with sand.  Really people really? I’m in labor for crying out loud! I should be pampered no? Strike #4. At this stage of the game, I’m already losing count of how many strikes this hospital has. (Sadly all hospitals in Japan are like this though).

I know this already sounds so whiney, but I’m just telling it as it is. This is a real raw account of all my thoughts and feelings and anxieties while giving birth in a foreign country. Bear with me people.

So, they start the Pitocin and I started to see contractions on the monitor, some which were pretty strong, but thankfully I couldn’t feel them. I kept feeling really uncomfortable, like I really had to pee. It really started to hurt so I had to get up frequently to use the bathroom. The doctors said I shouldn’t be getting up though because my legs were kind of numb and that my urge to go to the bathroom was just caused by the balloon they put in me. However, every time I went to the bathroom I peed a lot so obviously I wasn’t crazy…there was a lot that was lost in translation when I asked questions and Kolby tried his best to translate. I still don't understand half of what went on in that hospital or why they did certain things they did.

Our last pics together as a family of 2 :)

#nomakeupFTW

The next 10 hours I felt pain on and off as contractions got stronger and the epidural wore off. I asked them to increase the dose but it didn’t seem to help. Once in a while the doctor would come in and give me some kind of bolus (quick large injection of medicine through the epidural) which helped a ton. But that was the only thing that helped. Whatever medicine was running continuously through the epidural didn't seem to do anything. The other thing I found funny…they had me wearing the epidural control pump as a necklace around my neck. In America, they lock up the epidural medicine in a box because people will obviously just turn it up themselves or steal the medicine. I had the medicine dangling around my neck like bling. Japanese hospitals crack me up.

                                                         Epidural bling a ling. Holla!

The doctor came to check on me here and there throughout the rest of the afternoon and night. Around midnight I was up to 4cm, which had been the goal for that day, so mission accomplished! The doctor said it was possible my water could break and that I could have the baby in the middle of the night, which seemed exciting, but that didn't happen. At some point during the middle of the night or early morning a nurse came in and, with zero warning, YANKED my balloon out. Now, try to imagine a big inflated balloon squeezing through a very narrow space (my cervix) at a high speed. Yeah it wasn't pretty. I screamed bloody murder. I think it’s safe to say that people in Africa probably heard that scream. Ummm, a warning would have been nice? Or a “brace yourself, this is going to hurt on the count of 3…” That was honestly one of the most painful things I have ever experienced. I didn’t sleep much throughout the night due to pain from contractions and anxiety about the whole situation. I was also just so crazy excited to meet my little boy. During all of this arduous foreign country birthing experience, I tired to focus on my little boy and the joy of finally meeting him. It’s honestly the only thing that got me through it all. I could feel it in my bones that the joy I was about to experience was worth all of this insanity.

Around 8 or 9:00 the next morning (Thursday august 21^st) they moved me to a new room…the room I would be delivering my sweet little boy in. I walked in nervously to evaluate my surroundings and my jaw dropped to the bloody floor. No, you didn’t read that wrong. Bloody floor. Blood from the previous birth. There was blood everywhere…blood on the phone, blood on the bed I would be laying on…oh and don't even get me started on the trash cans. There was all kinds of nasty remains from the previous birth in the open exposed trash cans. Bloody tubes and gauze and unmentionables…AND I AM SUPPOSED TO GIVE BIRTH IN HERE? It was a pregnant woman’s worst nightmare. Kolby was also disgusted.

I immediately turned to Kolby and said “I am never ever giving birth here in Japan EVER again.” I really wanted to scream my head off at the hospital staff, but I didn't see what good that would do. Kolby wanted to talk to them about how ridiculous this was, but he didn’t feel it would do any good. It’s kind of in their culture to never complain about anything. There probably wasn't a cleaner room they could take me to, and they are the ones delivering my baby so I didn’t really want to make them angry since my son’s life was in their hands. I made Kolby take pictures in case we needed to sue them should something go terribly wrong like me or baby getting an infection. Looking back, I have no clue how I remained calm during this situation…maybe the epidural drugs? Because the real germ freak me would have gone nuts and ran as far away as possible from that disgusting delivery room. Like honestly, I would have felt safer delivering in a bathroom. Looking back, I wish I would have stood up for myself more and demanded a cleaner room, but I was just so tired of things going wrong and them doing nothing about it that I had just kind of given up.

The gross garbage cans with remains from the previous birth in the room

The chair I was to give birth in...covered in another woman's blood.

I climbed up onto the bed (making sure to avoid touching any old blood) and they hooked me up to the monitor. I was once again so happy and relieved to hear baby boy’s heartbeat. It brought peace and calmness unlike anything else could have in those moments. It's like he was saying "We can do this mom!" I felt so connected to him and knew we could make it through anything, even a disgusting hospital room.

Everything from that point on went very quickly and was a blur. I was concerned with making sure that Kolby had the camera ready to go to get good footage. My contractions were getting more and more painful…ok unbearable is a better word. Every time I had a contraction, I would just hold up my hand as a signal for Kolby to come over, so that I could squeeze the heck out of it.  I was grunting and sometimes borderline screaming in pain. I remember trying to distract myself by focusing on certain objects in the room and trying to describe them to myself, talking to myself in my head. However, nothing seemed to work. The pain was too intense. The contractions got more and more painful, and the pain started to spread to my hips. I kept getting an overwhelming urge to bear down and push, and it felt like the wind was being knocked out of me, as if air was being sucked out of my lungs, and I couldn’t help but push. But at the same time I was scared to push because I was worried that the pain of him coming out would be too much to handle, since they hadn’t done well with medicating me. (I know, I’m weak!).

Here I am attempting to be chique while giving birth. Just kidding, the lights were just so bright and these really did help.

The doctors said they would give me a higher dose of drugs when it came time to push him out, so I figured I would try harder to push once I got the higher dosage. Kolby seemed distracted while trying to keep our families updated on my situation. I became slightly frustrated that I had to wave my hand to tell him to come over because he seemed to be focused on texting our families. I think he was secretly just trying to avoid getting his hand squeezed to death… 

Still smiling through it all, excited to meet my boy.

The contractions got so painful that I thought I was surely going to die. All the nurses said in response to my crying was "The contractions are only going to get worse. You need to toughen up." Oh yeah, I'll just "toughen up" while pushing a little human out of my body. I started to get really groggy from all the pain and the epidural. It seemed like the epidural was doing nothing for pain, just making me really groggy.

Finally at some point the doctor came in to give me an extra large dose of pain medicine and my lower half went totally numb, which was a relief. Then the other doctor came in to break my water because they really wanted to get things moving. After they broke my water things moved quick and I dilated to 10cm within an hour. I was pretty groggy and even falling asleep due to the large dose they gave me. My doctor was like “no no don’t fall asleep!!”

They started telling me to push but I couldn’t feel anything so it was nearly impossible…I just grabbed the side rails, brought my neck forward, and tried to bear down as best as I could. They watched the monitor and when the contraction peaked, would tell me to push. I don't remember how long this went on, but it seemed like less than 10 pushes to me. The doctor said she could see his head. Immediately I asked if he had any hair and she said yes which I was excited about (of course all the conversation during this process was in Japanese and Kolby translated for me). I guess I wasn’t pushing hard enough or he wasn’t coming out fast enough and they started to worry, so they had to do an episiotomy and use a vacuum to get him out. I was anxious about this, but they said it was the best thing for my baby so I had no choice but to trust them at this point (which freaked me out).

While they were attempting to vacuum him out of me, one of the little Japanese doctors got on a stool and stood above me slamming on my uterus over and over again, kind of like CPR. She was trying to help push the baby out. Ummm what in the world?!  I was about to lose it and say “please stop punching my uterus!”, but all of the medication and pain and exhaustion just kind of took over me and once again I felt powerless. I still wonder to this day if my uterus will have negative long term effects from that horrific maneuver...

A few minutes later, Kai entered the world and I listened desperately for his cry. I mostly heard grunts and attempts at crying, but not an actual cry. I started to get really anxious waiting to hear it. I felt like my life depended on hearing it. They kept suctioning his nose and after what seemed like hours I FINALLY heard him cry. Relief flooded through me. They spent a few more minutes suctioning with the bulb syringe as he was screaming and then held him up in front of me so I could look at him.

He still looks like this when he cries. Gosh I love him!

As soon as they held him up to look at me, he stopped crying and seemed to just gaze at me for a second. The whole world stood still and I looked at him in utter disbelief. I could not believe this little boy was mine. It was so surreal. He looked so adorable, even right out of the womb. Joy and relief washed over me as I realized that he was finally here. He was ok. We were ok. Everything was gonna be ok. 

They did a few other things and then FINALLY brought him over for me to hold him, and they laid him next to me cradled in my arm. I wanted to hold him as close as possible with both arms but couldn't due to the chair I was in. (It was a delivery chair, not really a bed…). I looked at him and once again just couldn't believe he was mine. He looked so perfect in every way. I just stared at him, awestruck and shocked that this is the sweet little boy that was in my belly the past 10 months.  It didn’t seem possible or real. His thick dark hair was matted to his head, all sticky and messy and curly. He was crying but his face was so cute. (Even to this day, Kai has a cute cryface). I just stared at him, holding him as close as possible and feeling like I was dreaming. This was the moment the mother in me was born, and my heart expanded outside of my body.

I never ever wanted to let go of him. I felt a fierce desire to keep him right next to me always. He was so perfect and healthy. All of my wildest dreams came true right there in that moment. I wanted so badly to hold him skin to skin and comfort him, but the doctors wouldn't allow it. I gave him a soft kiss on the head when they took him, and Kolby held him for the first time. He was a natural of course, and he gazed at our little boy with all the love in the world, just as I had.

Then, my world fell apart when the doctor informed me that I wouldn’t be able to see him for 24 hours because it was hospital policy…something about monitoring every babies’ temperature for 24 hours, even though he was a perfectly healthy baby. To say I was upset is the understatement of the century. I was devastated and torn apart. It hurt so badly to be away from him during his first 24 hours in the world where he needed my comfort and love more than ever. I would understand if they needed to monitor him because he had a problem, but he had no problems. It was just “hospital policy.” Needless to say, this was absolute torture for me. I just wanted my little boy and nothing else. Those 24 hours went by so slowly, and I couldn't sleep that night because I was so anxious, wondering how my little boy was doing without me. Were the nurses taking good care of him? Would they be rough with him or ignore his crying? Tears streamed down my face as I thought of him spending his first night without me. This was more unbearable than the earlier labor pains I experienced.

After whisking him away, they made me stand up (by myself) and walk over to a wheelchair. I was shocked that they were making me walk just minutes after giving birth. Strike #1,308,401…oh nevermind, I’ve lost count. As expected, I started to pass out as soon as I stood up. The nurses didn’t help much and I kind of just fell into the wheelchair. They then proceeded to wheel me to my room on a different floor, and the whole ride I was blacking out and couldn’t see much because I was sitting up. I almost fell forward out of the chair. Isn’t it common sense that a woman should lie down after she goes through the most exhausting thing of her life…? Don’t worry, it only gets better. As soon as I crawled into a bed, I fell into a heavy sleep. When I woke up, I was crying/screaming in pain. The nurses informed me they didn’t have pain killers. SAY WHAT?! (Japanese people don’t believe in painkillers like Morphine, Lortab, Oxycodone etc). All they could give me was 200 mg of Tylenol.

Hold up.

You wanna give a woman who just endured 24 hours of labor, an episiotomy, and vacuum assisted birth 200 MG OF TYLENOL?!! (that's 1 pill fyi).  This is the equivalent of putting a small bandaid on a leg just blown off in battle. Yeah, this was gonna get ugly real fast.

My hospital room

 The next 5 days were the most painful of my life. The pain from the episiotomy, the sore muscles in my neck from straining so hard…on top of a spinal headache that developed due to them making me stand up after I received the epidural that first day in the hospital. The spinal headache is unlike anything else I have ever experienced. I broke my back in a car accident flipping off the road at 80mph, and this headache was ten thousand times worse than any pain I experienced during that accident. I couldn’t move my neck or head. I couldn't sit up or stand up or roll to the side without searing pain. It literally felt like there was a knife stabbing me in the head over and over again 24/7. It was truly indescribable. Kolby had to spoon feed me, bathe me, comb my hair, help me move, everything. The doctors also said they couldn't do anything about it or give me any pain medication for it. (In America they give morphine or Percocet for that…).

The worst part of this whole debacle was not being able to see my baby during the first 24 hours and everyday after 9pm when they took him back to the nursery (another “hospital policy). If I had been in my right mind, I would have demanded to have my healthy baby (he is MY baby after all, not theirs), and stormed out of there. My healthy baby deserved all of the skin to skin contact and breastfeeding that healthy American babies get. The nurses and doctors didn’t seem to care about my culture though, which made this whole experience pretty bad. (Once again, Japan I love you, but you are extremely culturally ignorant and insensitive).

Kolby got this pic from outside the nursery window a few hours after birth. It killed me to see my sweet baby boy alone in there. I knew he belonged with me, and it was torture. I stared at this pic for the next 24 hours until I got to see him.

Sad and missing Kai

I got my world back.

 The third day, they threatened to not let me see him anymore because they felt I couldn't take care of him because of my pain. Which was sadly true, so Kolby did all the diaper changes and feeding and holding, and he did a perfect job. I still loved snuggling him though and it was the only form of pain relief for me since they don't believe in drugs. When they threatened to not let me see him anymore, I about lost it. I mean lost it. Kolby and I were about to take the baby and just leave the hospital. After much debating with the nurses, Kolby was able to convince them to let us have him during the day and at night. I think it’s so sad that I had to fight so hard to hold MY child, who was perfectly healthy and taken care of by Kolby and I.

There were other issues throughout the hospital stay, like how they wanted me to walk far to the opposite side of the building to take my own blood pressure and  temperature (the nurses don't do any of that stuff or help with anything). I couldn't walk though because of the pain and lack of pain medication. That's when they told me they wouldn’t let me have my baby because I couldn't even walk. (They didn't seem to understand that Kolby took just as good of care as him as I would have, and that this was OUR child, NOT theirs). Then, they had the guts to tell me that all of my pain was my own fault because I chose to get an epidural. (Epidurals are very rare in Japan, but I chose this hospital because they do them frequently). That's when Kolby about punched the nurse in the face. I would have done it myself if I wasn't stuck in bed. We were both shocked at how bad the whole experience was. We were definitely not expecting it to be that bad.



Even though it was a rough experience, I came out of it with a healthy baby boy, and that's all that matters. I am still grateful for the doctors and all of their hard work in making sure that he was healthy.

The day we finally left Auschwitz. I mean um the Japanese hospital.

Me and my cute doctor. I liked her a lot! She was the one who did all my ultrasounds and took care of me throughout pregnancy. She also broke my water and was the one slamming on my stomach during birth. I still love her though!

(Please ignore how insane I look in this pic. I had puffy eyes from crying during the most painful 48 hours of my life after birth, and they said I wasn't allowed to shower for 3 days. So this is the lovely result.)

PS that Japanese hospital gown...

When we finally got to go home, I had that same excruciating pain for the next 2 and a half weeks, with no painkillers to help me cope. I wasn't able to nurse, so I would stand up for 15 minutes and pump because I was determined for Kai to have my milk. (I had tried sitting up, but even with a donut pillow the pain was too much). Even standing for those 15 minutes nearly killed me, but it was worth it for my baby. However, my milk supply never developed well because I couldn't nurse and was only able to pump a few times a day. Even until Kai was 6 months old, I had to pump 4 times a day, an hour each session, in order to make enough milk to feed him breastmilk for 50% of his diet.  Basically my milk supply was just horrible, which I believe is due to me not being able to establish it during those first few critical days where they took Kai away, and during the weeks that followed when I was in too much pain to nurse. So lesson learned…avoid giving birth in a foreign country at all costs if you can.

It’s interesting though, because through all of this seemingly endless pain and frustration, I was also experiencing the deepest and most profound joy. More joy than I had ever dreamed of. Kai was so perfect, and I treasured every single small moment with him. In the few moments I mustered the strength to hold him, the pain faded into the background. I was so sad watching Kolby change all of his diapers, because I wanted to. I wanted him to see me and know me. But I’m so grateful Kolby was able to take such good care of Kai while I recovered. I’m also grateful for Kolby’s mom, who flew out to Japan to help take care of me and Kai.

Home sweet home

Eventually, after what seems like years,  I made a full recovery and all of that pain just faded away, and there was only love and joy left to be experienced with Kai. I was so high all the time, floating on cloud 9 while taking care of this little angel. He almost never cried, nursed like a champ, and put up with all of our crazy day trips on the trains. Everyone who met him commented on what a good calm baby he was, and how he had this ability to heal them while they held him. He’s pretty special I tell ya.

Kai, we love you more than you will ever know. Thank you for giving us the best gift we have ever received. You have brought more joy and light into our lives than we ever knew was possible. We love you infinitely and always.